If you’ve made it to this little corner of the web, you’re in good company my friend.
Fort Famly is your home for Irreverent Children’s Books, Questionable Behavior, and Occasionally something else.
So thanks for being here!
Please make yourself at home.
Fake Fish Friday Fake Fishes of the Friday
~~
Fake Fish Friday Fake Fishes of the Friday ~~
Snooky, The Snook
Snooky the Snook is a Snook. She’s a Pieces. She’s also not a real Snook. She’s a fake snook painted on a piece of wood. Snooky was brought to this world by artist, Lindsey Schneider in March 2025. If you need Snooky in your life before the big Fort Famly Fake Fish Friday Fish Fry, have your people call our people. Peace be with you.
David, The Northeastern Strider Dickie
David is a Northeastern Strider Dickie. The Northeastern Strider Dickie is a fictional fish and beyond that, David, himself, isn’t anything like a fish. He’s a fishy shaped piece of pine board that been collaged to the enth of his life by Cleveland based artist, Alan Dunn. If you need David in your life, feel free to reach out. Blessings.
Dusty, The Trashtrout
Dusty is a Trashtrout. Not a real one. A fake one. He was summoned by Mic Fox while sitting with Alan Dunn. Please let us know if you need Dusty in your life before the big Fort Famly Fake Fish Friday Fish Fry. Peace.
Roberto, The Red Mullet
$130 (+$15 if you want him shipped)Roberto is a Red Mullet. He is a Pisces. He’s not a real fish. He’s a fake fish painted on pinewood. He’s about 28.5” long. He may look fancy but he’s a dirty little mud grub at heart. Roberto was painted by Mic Fox in February 2025. If you need a sweetie like Roberto in your life, text 216-770-7775. xoxo
Kenny, The Crawfish
$120 (+$15 if you want him shipped)Kenny is a Crawfish. Kenny is a pre-cooked wooden Crawfish the size of a giant lobster. Shoot…he’s probably 2ft long with his tail curled. If you need a Mardi-Gras door hanger that’ll get your neighbors talking, Kenny’s your man. Kenny was painted by Mic Fox in January 2025. If you need a crawfish like Kenny in your life, text 216-770-7775. Happy Carnival, ya beauties! xoxo
Beatrice, The Inconnu
$175 (+$20 if you want her shipped)Beatrice is an Inconnu. She is a Pisces. She’s not a real fish. She’s a fake fish painted on pinewood. She’s about 43” long. She’s a little mean but let’s be honest…we can all be a little bit mean sometimes. Beatrice was painted by Mic Fox in February 2025. If you need a bad fish like Beatrice in your life, text 216-770-7775. xoxo
To see all the previous Fake Fish Fridays, click HERE!
Midwestern Pulp
A 300 page fictional exposé on the Midwestern Millennial Experience.
Generations of chaotically mild behavior set the stage for a group of friends as they travel back to the Great Lakes for a buddy’s funeral.
A post-modern, comedic tragedy that reads like a movie for people who haven’t finished a book since high-school.
Anything
A re-imagination of the “You can do anything!” mantra that floated through every after-school-special of the 1990s.
This book challenges the reader to move the emphasis from
“You can do ANYTHING”
to
“You CAN do anything”
in hopes that a kid (and maybe their parents) will take the opportunities they’re given and use their gifts for good–rather than just doing whatever they want... just because they can.
Lessons in improvisation and thinking outside the box.
Don’t Get Too High (said the Bird to the Fly)
This is a story of two old friends who lose touch, meet up, hash out their differences, and reconnect. It's a book for aunts, uncles, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, hippie-grandparents and anyone who understands that the world isn't black and white–it's a very hazy grey.
Chicken’s Made of Chicken
When an overzealous chicken decides he wants to become a carnivore, his fellow barn yard animals decide to take matters into their own hands.
This story of food awareness, self awareness, actions, and consequences belongs on the book shelf of every child that doesn't mind some real talk and some honest life lessons.
Weird Lil Prayers
Every night, when we say our bedtime prayers, it's easy to remember our friends, family, and the people we see everyday. But what if we started including the people we don't know– the people we may pass by and never get to speak to– the people we may not understand– the people who live their lives everyday, just as we do? This is a book designed to remind us to keep it real while exploring this weird lil world of ours.
The Earth Book
With the strange weather these days, we need to remind ourselves to be grateful and good to a planet that’s provided us with so much goodness.